Dark Redux, Part 1.5 -- Damned if You Do

[darkdreamer]

Hi, guys :) Here's the next entry in the Dark Redux series :) Hope you like it :)

*hugs*
DoS


Title: Dark Redux
Episode: 1.5 -- Damned if You Do
Beta: misanthropicobs
Disclaimer: House, Wilson, and all other characters/ideas taken from the show are not my own, and I'm making no profit from the writing of this fiction -- just for fun, I promise. :P (Some dialogue this chapter taken directly from the episode.)
Pairing: House/Wilson
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: In this particular 'verse, I've changed one thing about the canon timeline. At the beginning of the story, when House and Wilson first get together, Wilson is already recently divorced from Julie.
Story Warnings: slash, dark Wilson eventually -- specific warnings for each chapter as necessary
Chapter Warnings: possessive!wilson, mild sexuality, mild violence
Story Summary: A darker version of how canon might have gone, if House and Wilson had entered into a relationship from the start -- and if that relationship took a gradually dark, disturbing turn.
Chapter Summary: House and Wilson have their first argument over Wilson's jealousy.

 

"We are condemned to useless labor."

Wilson looked up from the chart in which he was writing at House's bored, morose tone, suppressing a smirk as he watched House fidgeting with the Christmas candy he'd liberated from the bowl on the counter. Looking back down at his work, Wilson responded to House's grim assessment, acknowledging the literary reference he had used.

"Fourth circle of hell. Charting goes a lot faster when you eliminate the whole of classic poetry."

House responded by flicking one of the candies in Wilson's general direction -- and missing his target miserably. "Writing down what we already know to be read by nobody," he sighed. "Pretty sure Dante would agree that qualifies as useless."

"You're over two weeks behind on your charting," Wilson reminded him in a voice of stern but gentle reproof.

He glanced up as House prepared to flick another piece of candy, preparing himself to dodge it if necessary -- but this most recent missile was not aimed in his direction at all. Wilson turned just in time to watch the candy bounce harmlessly off the side of Cuddy's breast -- shamelessly exposed in a black top with a low, lace-trimmed v-neck -- instead of going down the front of her blouse as House had clearly intended.

"Oops," House stated unnecessarily. "I missed."

Cuddy cast a nervous glance in Wilson's direction before rolling her eyes at House's behavior. "What are you, eight?" she asked him in a voice of bored irritation that was just a bit more tense and irritated than usual.

"Could an eight-year-old do this?" House pointed out before making a truly hideous and ridiculous face. He was, apparently, utterly oblivious to the tension between her and Wilson.

Once again, despite his irritation at Cuddy's presence, Wilson couldn't quite suppress his smile at House’s playful behavior. The smile faded, however, as he glanced up through lowered eyes, casting a look of subtle suspicion back and forth between House and Cuddy.

Lately, it seemed that she was always around when Wilson least wanted her to be, despite his warning to her weeks earlier.

Or perhaps -- because of it.

"You better stop or it'll stick that way," Cuddy advised House flatly. "You have a patient in Exam Room One."

House's face twisted into a grimace of distaste. "Yeah, but see... see, I'm off at twelve, and it's already five of."

Cuddy raised a skeptical eyebrow in his direction, her orders clearly unchanged by his weak excuse. "She's been waiting for you since eleven."

With another uncertain glance in Wilson's direction, Cuddy laid the chart down on the counter in front of House and walked off down the hall toward her own office. House watched her go with open appreciation in his eyes, ignoring Wilson’s pointed stare.

"Melancholy without hope. Which circle is that?" House asked without looking at Wilson as he rose with a weary sigh and took the chart. Wilson did not reply, and House headed resignedly toward Exam Room One.

Wilson watched him go, his gaze darkening with rising anger as the infuriating scene played over in his mind again.

It was difficult to tell how his warning had affected Cuddy's behavior in the last few weeks. She seemed to act more or less the same, if her flirtations were a bit toned down -- at least in Wilson's presence. However, he had no way of knowing for sure how she behaved around House when he was not around.

House, on the other hand, had continued in much the same way as he had always done, despite their conversation about Wilson's jealousy -- or, again, Wilson considered... perhaps because of it. At times – like tonight – it almost appeared as if House was trying to rile him, to goad him into a reaction, with the blatantly suggestive, flirtatious looks and comments he aimed at Cuddy.

Maybe House wanted him to be jealous. Maybe he enjoyed knowing that he had that much power over Wilson, enough to cause him to sit here and brood and obsess and grow steadily more infuriated, when he was supposed to be working on his charting for the end of the year.

Wilson let out a sigh as he tried to focus again on the work in front of him -- but his thoughts were a million miles away.

By the time House exited the exam room, Wilson had gradually worked himself into a quiet rage, nearly stabbing at the pages of the charts in front of him rather than writing on them. He had almost decided to confront House about his overtly flirtatious behavior when House approached the counter beside him. Wilson deliberately kept his eyes focused on his work, trying to rein in his irritation, as House reached him with an ironic smile on his lips.

"How do you solve a problem like dermatitis?"

Wilson frowned, more annoyed than usual by House's characteristically cryptic comment.

"What?" he said, shaking his head with a confused frown, his tone moody and impatient.

House frowned, too, finally seeming to notice the dark shift in Wilson’s mood. He opened his mouth to speak, but before House could answer or Wilson could bring up his complaint, a woman stepped out of the exam room House had just left.

Glancing up at her, Wilson instantly understood House's comment from moments earlier as he noted her nun’s habit, but was not amused. He returned his gaze to the charts in front of him, ignoring the woman as she engaged a skeptical House in a brief conversation about her religious beliefs, as opposed to her appreciation of his lack of religious beliefs.

After a moment, feeling more irritated than ever by the fact that his intended confrontation had been thwarted, Wilson mumbled a quietly resentful, "Excuse me," picked up his chart, and walked away.

******************************

For House, the moment after Wilson turned and walked away was when things started to go bad.

The patient he thought he had finished treating was suddenly struggling for her life -- not once, but twice -- and the second time was presumed to be his fault, not only by Cuddy and his team, but apparently by Wilson as well.

The following day saw him striving to prove himself to everyone, to prove that he had indeed given Sister Augustine the correct dosage of epinephrine, and her symptoms were the result of some underlying medical condition, as opposed to the human error -- his human error -- that everyone seemed to be assuming had occurred.

The afternoon found him sitting in the hospital's chapel, half-watching his soap on a tiny, hand-held television set, his mind focused on finding the solution to the mystery of Sister Augustine's suddenly failing health.

When one of the other nuns entered the chapel, House fought back a sense of irritation -- both at being interrupted in the middle of his process, and at the increased pressure he instantly felt with her presence, reminding him of his failure thus far to help her friend.

Or -- not so much her friend, actually, he quickly discovered when the nun began to talk to him, informing him of the delusional and dishonest nature she believed that the other nun had.

Irritation faded into interest, and House found himself offering her some of his chocolate, indirectly inviting her to sit down with him and talk some more. He immediately set out trying to shock her, to throw her off her guard and embarrass her by pointing out the four deadly sins she had apparently committed in the course of the thirty seconds or so she had spent talking with him; but he was pleasantly surprised to find that she could hold her own against him.

House found himself intrigued by the innocent, unintentional flirtation in her voice and the bluntly intimate way she spoke to him, openly assessing him emotionally with unsettling accuracy. Against his better judgment and utterly at odds with what he had expected, House realized something he was reluctant to admit.

She reminded him a bit of himself, in fact.

He actually liked this nun.

A smile of grudging amusement crossed House's lips as he held her eyes for a long moment, watching her blush slightly under the intensity of his gaze.

"You know, from the way you're looking at me right now, I'd say you just hit number five: lust."

House silently declared his own victory in the brief, good-natured battle of wits in which they had engaged, as the nun's face flushed with trapped self-consciousness, and she rose to her feet, handing him back what was left of his chocolate bar. House stared at the place where she had been for a few moments, a pensive half-smile on his lips as he considered their conversation, before finally returning his attention to the television in his hands.

A moment later, he glanced up in surprise as someone slid silently into the seat beside him that the nun had just vacated. He looked up, then down again at his television without speaking when he saw that it was Wilson.

"That looked like an interesting conversation," Wilson observed in a deceptively mild tone.

Casting a suspicious sideways glance in Wilson's direction, House answered with a vaguely affirmative grunt, his attention remaining focused on his soap opera. Wilson was silent for a long moment, just sitting there beside House, staring at the back of the pew in front of them.

"She found you pretty attractive, didn't she?"

House glanced slyly toward Wilson again, responding with deliberate carelessness. "Yeah, but how could she help it?"

"Yeah." Wilson's laugh sounded forced, utterly insincere. After a painfully awkward moment of silence, he added leadingly, "She's... kind of pretty herself..."

House's lips twisted slightly in the barest ghost of a smile, though his gaze did not shift from his television show as he shrugged and agreed. "Yeah, she was definitely hot. The whole time we were talking, I was just so distracted. Couldn't stop picturing what she looks like out of that sexy little habit."

Wilson let out another forced laugh, this one tinged with a bitter sarcasm, but he said nothing for a long, tense moment. When he spoke at last, his voice was soft but cold with suppressed anger and resentment.

"Is there no female alive that you don't feel the need to constantly flirt with?"

House looked up sharply at that, a single brow raised in question. "Excuse me?"

"I'm amazed you even have any attraction to me at all, considering the way that anything that happens to stroll by you in a skirt turns your head so easily," Wilson continued with a too-casual shrug. He was quiet for a moment before adding, "I thought you wanted to be with me."

House's jaw worked with repressed irritation as he glared at Wilson, silent for a long moment. But if Wilson thought he was speechless in the face of his accusation, he was wrong. House was merely gearing up for his own attack.

"Well, I'm just not sure, Wilson," House mused at last with false thoughtfulness. "Maybe you should put on a skirt and test that theory."

"Damn it, House!" Wilson snapped, angrily slamming his clenched fist into the back of the pew in front of him, turning his head away as he struggled to restrain his temper before finally glaring back at his stunned lover. "Why can't you ever take anything seriously? Everything is a game to you! Our entire relationship is a game to you..."

"That's absolutely not true," House cut him off abruptly, rising to his feet. "And if you can't see that, then this entire conversation is nothing but a waste of time."

He started to push angrily past Wilson, but Wilson rose to his feet beside him, grabbing his arm and pushing him against the back of the pew in front of them, holding him there and refusing to let him pass.

"No," Wilson snarled, seething fury blazing in his dark eyes. "No, you are not going to just walk away from me, House."

House's eyes widened in indignation, staring down at Wilson's hand tightly clenched around his arm, and he jerked it away, glancing uneasily toward the aisle which Wilson's body was currently blocking him from reaching.

"Oh, yes, I am," House declared, trying again to push past him.

Wilson was having none of it. "You've been playing games with me since this whole thing with the nun started," he stated with anger and accusation in his voice. "And maybe you're just trying to... to distract yourself from the fact that you might have actually made a mistake... or maybe you're just trying to get back at me for daring to point out that you may have screwed up this time. I don't know. But..."

"I don't owe you an explanation for daring to speak to a woman -- one who's completely taken, by the way... by God, no less!" House stated in defiance with an incredulous laugh. "If I've got to somehow earn this relationship by isolating myself from every member of the female gender, then... well, maybe I don't want to be in this relationship!"

"Well, if you're not committed to me, then maybe I don't want to be in this relationship!" Wilson shot back. "If you want to be with me, then you can choose between me, and every woman who happens to catch your eye every five or ten seconds."

"You're making that a very easy choice!" House informed him, eyes blazing with outrage. "You think you can control me? I'd like to test that theory." He glared pointedly down at Wilson's white-knuckled hand on the pew behind him, his arm blocking House's path, and raised his cane warningly. "If you want your knuckles to remain intact, you'll move your hand now and let me pass."

Wilson's eyes narrowed, something dangerous flashing in them, and his free hand moved with startling speed and precision, snatching the cane from House's hand and tossing it onto the pew behind him. In the same motion, Wilson's other hand moved from the pew to clutch House's arm again in a forceful, almost bruising grip.

His voice lowered in warning as he leaned in close to House, snarling, "You will not threaten me, House. You wanna behave like a freakin' whore and chase after every piece of ass you see? Fine. Do whatever the hell you want. But you try to hit me... and you might be surprised by how hard I hit back."

Wilson released him abruptly, and House fell back against the pew, staring at him in stunned silence as Wilson turned and stalked out of the chapel, still visibly fuming.

**************************

House spent the rest of the day actively avoiding any sort of contact with Wilson.

He was furious and indignant and utterly determined to make Wilson regret his nerve in thinking that he could speak to House and manhandle him in such a way. House was getting quite tired of Wilson's jealous temper, and wanted to make it perfectly clear that he had no intention of putting up with it any longer.

Wilson approached him a couple of times that afternoon, but House responded by immediately placing himself in the presence of other people, effectively shutting down Wilson's attempts at private conversation.

When Cameron approached him near the end of the day, surprising him with an unexpected Christmas gift, House accepted it silently, caught off guard and uncertain how to respond. A thought crossed his mind unbidden.

Wilson would hit the roof if he knew...

A slow smile spread across House's face as he decided that he would definitely keep the gift -- Wilson's opinion be damned.

House spent the last couple of hours of his day in the clinic, and had just seen his last patient and was heading for the door, when it opened in front of him, and he found himself face to face with Wilson.

Wilson stepped into the room, closing the door carefully behind him before turning to face House fully, his dark gaze earnest and intent and pleading.

"Forgive me."

House blinked, surprised by his abrupt, urgent words -- and not quite sure whether they were intended as a plea or a command. After a moment, he looked away with a derisive little snort.

"Getting a little ahead of yourself, aren't you?" he pointed out.

"House..."

Wilson followed him as he turned away, reaching out a cautious hand to rest on his arm, a much gentler version of the harsh grip he had used earlier. House looked pointedly down at Wilson's hand on his arm, meeting Wilson's eyes in expectant warning. Wilson did not remove his hand, holding House's gaze as he spoke with a soft intensity.

"Please. I'm sorry."

"Yeah. You are."

"House, I mean it. I just... I saw her flirting with you, and... and Cuddy's always flirting with you, and I know you've... been with a lot of women, and..."

"Like you haven't?" House countered, pulling his arm away.

This time, Wilson let him. "I know. I know, I was wrong," Wilson insisted, moving with House so that they were still face to face. "But you see, that's just it. I have been with a lot of people before you, and... and I just... jumped to conclusions."

"I'll say you did," House remarked with clear resentment, eyes lowered.

A moment's tense silence followed, and Wilson drew in a deep, shaky breath before confessing quietly, "It's been... exactly a year, today, since... since Julie told me about her affair and... and I left her. I've just been... been thinking about it all day, and about all the times I've done things like she did, and... and seeing you alone with someone else, and flirting with Cuddy last night, I guess I just... went a little nuts... and I'm sorry, House, I'm so sorry. I was an idiot."

House considered his words for a moment, softening slightly at his explanation. Wilson instantly latched onto the subtle opening, sidling further into House's space, reaching out to gently, cautiously touch his arms. House did not pull away, but he averted his gaze stubbornly, his voice low and resentful as he spoke.

"I'm not Julie, and I'm not you. Don't project your infidelity issues onto me."

"I know, I know, House, and I'm so sorry," Wilson repeated, his hands running slowly up and down House's arms as he edged yet closer to House. "I'm just... so afraid of losing you. No one has ever made me as happy as you make me, House. Everything is finally right in my life, and it's all because of you, and when I think that someone might come along and end that, I just... it just makes me crazy. I'm sorry. I'll stop; I'll do whatever you need me to do, House. I just... can't lose you..."

As he spoke his low, fervored words, Wilson slid his hands around House's waist, pulling him gently but insistently closer, his mouth drifting nearer and nearer to House's as he stepped slowly backward, guiding House toward the exam table behind him until he had no choice but to lean back against it, yielding to Wilson's gentle advance.

"I'm sorry," Wilson whispered, brushing a feather-light kiss against House's jawline. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He kissed him again and again – light, barely there kisses that gradually intensified, interspersed with his fervent plea, repeated again and again with quiet, desperate insistence. "Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me... please, House... I just don't want to lose you... please, forgive me, forgive me..."

"You're... you're not going to... lose me," House whispered breathlessly at last, his eyes closed, his head falling back slightly in unintentional response to Wilson's kisses against his throat. "God, Wilson... I don't... want anyone else... You have to know that... I only want you..."

"I know, I know," Wilson whispered hoarsely, his face crumpling in regret as he lowered his head, his forehead resting against House's as he caught his breath in several slow, deep gasps. "I'm sorry, House... just forgive me... please..."

Anger at Wilson's jealousy melted into a sense of awe and wondering disbelief at the fact that someone -- Wilson -- wanted him so much. House wasn't used to having anyone care so much, be so desperate for his affections; and he had to admit that, while overwhelming and frustrating at times... it was also incredibly flattering.

It was a rare and precious thing that House found himself utterly unwilling to give up.

"Of course I do," he responded softly, his shoulders slumping slightly as he relented at last, raising his arms to embrace Wilson and hold him close. "I forgive you... I forgive you, Wilson..."

**************************

Shortly after House and Wilson left the hospital and headed home to enjoy an evening of hot make-up sex, Cameron made her way into House’s office to gather her things and prepare to go home for the night.

She frowned in surprise when she saw the gift she had given House earlier that day, still sitting on his desk – only now, joined by a small envelope resting on top of it, with her name written in thick, dark block letters. She picked up the envelope, sliding it open with her finger and take out a folded sheet of plain paper inside. Her frown deepened with disappointment as she read it, absently picking up the rejected gift in her other hand.

“Cameron –

Merry Christmas.

Thanks, but no thanks.

House"

TBC...

/>
Accident Lawyers

Comments

[kimrae1977.livejournal.com]

Happy New Year, hon.

[hilsongirl.livejournal.com]

Poor Cameron, that must hurt!

[dreamsofspike.livejournal.com]

yeah, definitely... :( thanx, love, glad you liked this one... the next one is up now :) *Hugs*

[dreamsofspike.livejournal.com]

thanx, love :) *Hugs* you, too :)

[hang-monet.livejournal.com]

Uh-oh, Wilson has the apologies of a wife beater. This is not going to go well.

[dreamsofspike.livejournal.com]

yeah, that's exactly what he's doing :( ... and no, this is not going to a good place for house :( glad you enjoyed the update, though, hon, the next one is up now, hope you like :) *Hugs*

[chaoskir.livejournal.com]

Interesting chapter! I want to know how will Wilson act in the future. He is really dark. As I said before: Very interesting Wilson. I like him more if he is the caring-Wilson. Your fic has captured me. Urrgh, I want to read more!
Great update! Thank you!

[dreamsofspike.livejournal.com]

hehe... yeah, this wilson is going to get progressively darker, unfortunately... glad you're enjoying it, though :) *hugs* the next one is up now :)

[jadzia7667.livejournal.com]

It's almost unnerving, how well you have described the reactions of an abuser. Yes, it's not a physically abusive relationship yet, but it's going that way, yeah? And House's reactions - yeah, he's fairly typical, too. Excellent work.

I particularly liked the bit with Wilson returning Cameron's gift. Also typical of the obsessive type.

[dreamsofspike.livejournal.com]

yeah, it is gradually working in that direction :( glad you feel their reactions are realistic, thats what i'm trying to portray... thanx so much for your kind, encouraging words :) *Hugs* the next one is up now :)

[dreamsofspike.livejournal.com]

oooh, and one more thing i forgot to mention, just so it's kind of cleared up... i guess i wasn't quite clear enough on this... it was house himself, not wilson, who returned the gift... wilson never even knew cameron *gave* house a gift... it's to show the gradual shift in house's mindset... even after wilson's apology and admitting he was wrong (or maybe kind of because of it) house changed his mind and decided not to keep the present because he knew wilson wouldn't like it, wants to make him happy, etc... house returned cameron's gift himself, through wilson's influence :P

[mireya-11.livejournal.com]

<sub>O_______________________O
NO NO HOUSE NO!!!!
T______________________________________T

damn it Cameron
can't you be happy with what you get?</sub>

[dreamsofspike.livejournal.com]

lol... why should she be happy? he gave her gift back!! :( thanx, love, glad you liked the update :) *Hugs* the next one is up now :)

[mireya-11.livejournal.com]

_{Yeah I know but at least she got a 'letter' xD
yay!!! *goes running to see it*}

[jackssilverwolf.livejournal.com]

Wilson is nuts. And I love it!

[dreamsofspike.livejournal.com]

hehe... glad you're enjoying scary dark wilson :P hehe... *hugs* the next one is up now, love :)

[evila-elf.livejournal.com]

Ack! House should have beat Wilson back with his cane when he had the chance o.o

[dreamsofspike.livejournal.com]

lol... yeah, but he didn't... and wilson didn't *actually* hurt him, so it's, unfortunately, easier for house to write off his violent reaction :( glad you liked this chapter, hon, the next one is up now :) *Hugs*

[madwriter223.livejournal.com]

Damn, but Wilson is possesive!! And jealous and selfabsorbed and so so regretful. All in all, House will happily march into the hell that will come. And we all know it will.
I really enjoyed the whole arguement, especially how you concentrated on House's side of the whole affair, and his frustration with a jealous lover. Happy day indeed when he gave in.
Yah know, I just thought of something. If Wilson is this jealous over a nun (stupid thing to do, btw), then what will happen when Stacy appears? Uh boy, will that be a fun day. ^__^'

[dreamsofspike.livejournal.com]

yeah, wilson will *definitely* not be a happy camper during that part of the rewrite -- and by extension, neither will house :( glad you enjoyed the chapter, hon, and wilson's slow decline into abuse... the next chapter is up now, hope you like it as well :) *Hugs*

[dynamics-xx.livejournal.com]

Wilson's persistent apologies frighten me O_o
He'll just keep getting worse..and chances are House will keep forgiving him. Because, I will admit, Wilson is adorable when he's all upset. hah

[dreamsofspike.livejournal.com]

yep, wilson's becoming gradually more obsessive.. and because house really gets so little affection from anyone else, he's not seeing it as a bad thing, but is actually kind of in awe that wilson cares so much...

but things will eventually get ugly :(

thanx, love, glad you liked the update.. the next one is up now :) *Hugs*

[jennybliss.livejournal.com]

Wow!! House, House, House, don't you see what Wilson is doing to you.

[dreamsofspike.livejournal.com]

no, he really doesn't, unfortunately :( thanx, love, glad you liked this chapter... the next one is up now :) hope you enjoy

[moz17.livejournal.com]

Oooooh, I was looking forwad to reading this chapter, as I can clearly remember that this was the episode when my mind first started working in the House/Wilson direction.

This was utterly brilliant. Wilson is terrifying but then that scene where he's asking House to forgive him- man, I was wobbling, he was so heart-melting. But then twisted again! Love this story!! x

[dreamsofspike.livejournal.com]

hehehe... yes, i intended this chapter to really illustrate how easy it is for house to be sucked in by wilsons apologies and such... if you didn't know that he was going to get much worse, his apologies/reasons *almost* seem to make sense... :P but... no...

thanx so much, hon, glad you enjoyed this chapter :) *Hugs* the next one is up now, hope you like it as well :)