Dark Redux, Part 1.17 -- Role Model
Feb. 14th, 2009 11:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
darkdreamer*hugs*
DoS
Title: Dark Redux
Episode: 1.17 -- Role Model
Beta:
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andi88 Disclaimer: House, Wilson, and all other characters/ideas taken from the show are not my own, and I'm making no profit from the writing of this fiction -- just for fun, I promise. :P (Some dialogue this chapter taken directly from the episode.)
Pairing: House/Wilson
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: In this particular 'verse, I've changed one thing about the canon timeline. At the beginning of the story, when House and Wilson first get together, Wilson is already recently divorced from Julie.
Story Warnings: slash, dark Wilson eventually -- specific warnings for each chapter as necessary
Chapter Warnings: none for this chapter
Story Summary: A darker version of how canon might have gone, if House and Wilson had entered into a relationship from the start -- and if that relationship took a gradually dark, disturbing turn.
Chapter Summary: Wilson gives House room to make his own choices. House is surprisingly bothered by this. In the end, will Wilson's subtle plan work out in his favor, and bring House ever deeper under his control?
“You’re right.”
House looked up from the television show he was watching, eyebrows raised in surprise at Wilson’s words of greeting.
“I am?”
Wilson nodded once and gave him a casual smile as he took off his coat and hung it on the rack, before crossing the room to sit down on the couch beside him. House tensed slightly at his approach, torn between hope and apprehension. The idea that Wilson might really be accepting House’s decision to make his own decisions so easily was a pleasant one; but House was fairly certain that it would not be that easy.
Except, now… he just said… I’m right… maybe…
House swallowed hard, looking away uneasily as Wilson slid closer to him across the couch, reaching out a hand to rest on his knee.
“Your work-related situations are your business, not mine. If you don’t want my advice, then I won’t give it to you anymore. I’ll leave your decisions to you.”
House looked up dubiously, studying Wilson’s expression, keeping his own carefully in check. “Sounds good,” he admitted cautiously. “But can you actually do it? It’d be the first time. Even before we were dating, you’ve always seemed to feel like my business is your business.”
“I can do it.” Wilson was confident, eyes shining with optimistic certainty. “You’re not a child, House. I shouldn’t treat you like one. You can make your own decisions… manage your own problems. I’ve been worried about Vogler, about what he thinks of you, but you know – that’s not my problem to worry about. I need to have confidence that you can handle it – and I do.”
He was quiet then, bracing his hand on House’s good leg as he leaned in to kiss him softly, allowing the kiss to linger as House’s mouth slackened, yielding to his advance. After a few moments, he drew back, smiling into House’s eyes as he spoke again in a soft, affectionate voice.
“I have faith in you, House. You can take care of yourself… if I can let you.”
House felt a strangely unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach, feeling unexpectedly bereft with Wilson’s words – almost… abandoned. He reminded himself that this was what he had wanted – for Wilson to just back off a little and allow him to make his own decisions without insisting on interfering. He searched Wilson’s eyes, and found no traces of what he expected – anger, disgust, dismissal.
“Okay,” he answered at last, his own voice quiet and uncertain. “We’ll see.”
Wilson’s smile broadened as he leaned in to claim another kiss, his hand sliding behind House’s head and drawing him in close; and House surrendered to the kiss, tentatively returning Wilson’s embrace, his hands rising to pull Wilson’s hips down closer to him. Even as he savored the reassurance of Wilson’s affection, however, his thoughts were racing in a downward swirling circle of doubts and insecurity.
Is this what he says it is? He’s just giving me the freedom to make my own choices? Or has he decided it’s not worth the effort anymore? Is that what this is? Is he giving up on me?
*************************
“This is ridiculous.”
House was fuming as he stalked into Wilson’s office, slamming the door behind him. Wilson suppressed a smile as he looked up, making his expression curious and surprised as he waited for House’s explanation. He knew he had not done anything to upset his lover, not today; therefore, House’s frustration had to be due to something else – some conflict which Wilson had not yet heard about, due to his decision to stay out of House’s work issues.
“What’s wrong?” Wilson’s voice carried a note of interest and concern, but remained light and casual as his eyes left House’s face and returned to the work laid out in front of him.
His plan was moving along, right on schedule.
All he had to do was to simply do what House wanted. He just had to back off a little, allowing House the room to function as an adult, to make his own decisions and take responsibility for his own issues at work – and wait for him to screw it up royally and come begging for the advice and direction he had scorned.
“Vogler’s an ass, that’s what’s wrong.”
“Well, so are you, so that works out nicely.”
House’s only response to the good-natured jibe was a pointed glare as he continued, quietly fuming. “He tells me to fire one person, but then when I pick one person, he tells me it has to be someone else.”
Wilson resisted the intense desire to ask which one person, and instead just nodded with mild interest, waiting for House to go on.
“He’s protecting Chase,” House muttered. “This just confirms what I already knew. So it has to be Cameron or Foreman – if I choose to fire someone.”
Wilson frowned slightly, suppressing his frustration at House’s stubbornness in continuing to think that he would be able to evade Vogler’s demands. Aware that he could not allow House to see how much he really cared about the situation, Wilson kept his tone calm and mild as he echoed dubiously, “If you fire someone?”
House nodded, holding Wilson’s gaze, watching for his reaction as he continued with a grim smile.
“He’s given me an out. I have to give a speech at the National Cardiology Conference tonight, and treat this patient – I suppose I should say my patient, now.”
Wilson felt a quiet anger rising up from the midst of his frustrations, and struggled to hold it back. House had insisted that Vogler would eventually back down, despite Wilson’s argument that House couldn’t beat Vogler; and now, it appeared that House was right.
Just one lousy speech? That’s all he has to do? Wilson’s thoughts were laced with a sick feeling of disgust at the unfortunate turn of fate that would certainly ruin his plans. He’s going to beat Vogler after all – without my help – and that’s just going to make him even more sure that he can do just fine without me.
“I don’t want to do it. Let him push me around… give the order and watch me jump…” House shook his head slowly, eyes focused on Wilson’s desk. “I don’t want to do this.”
Wilson looked up again, his interest and hopes piqued by House’s muttered words. He fought against the urge to argue, to offer his own advice, shrugging casually as he returned his eyes to his work.
“Whatever you think is best.”
House’s brow creased in frustration and suspicion, and he was silent until Wilson looked up again, an innocent expression of curiosity at his silence the only emotion on his face. Wilson shook his head slightly, as if bewildered, raising his hands in front of him in a questioning gesture.
“What?”
“You do have an opinion on this.”
Wilson nodded, lowering his eyes to his work again. “I do,” he agreed.
House was quiet for a moment, eyes narrowed as he studied the other man. “But you’re not going to share it,” he realized at last.
“No, I’m not.”
Wilson replied simply without hesitation, repressing the grin he felt forming around the corners of his mouth. The defeated sigh accompanying House’s words was a beautiful sound to him, betraying the fact that perhaps his plan was working a little better than he had suspected.
“Please,” House scoffed. “Inside you’re screaming your thoughts at me – desperate to tell me what I should do to fix this situation, how to make it work the best to everyone’s advantage. I know you think you know what I should do – and it’s only a matter of time before you give in to your nature and tell me.”
House’s tone suggested derision and disgust at the idea, but Wilson knew that House was craving his advice by now, anxious to know what Wilson thought he should do.
All the more reason to keep withholding it.
“It’s your decision, House, to handle however you want. I told you I wasn’t going to interfere anymore, and I won’t. I promise.”
Wilson finally looked up at House again with a confident smile, as if very pleased with himself that he was managing to respect House’s boundaries and refrain from his usual tactic of treating him like a child. In truth, Wilson was very pleased with himself – but not for the reasons House thought.
It’s all going to fall apart around him. He’s not going to be able to do what’s best for him. His pride and stubbornness will sabotage him as usual, and everything’s going to blow up in his face.
As House rose to his feet and finally left Wilson’s office, trying not to show his disappointment at leaving without what he had come for, Wilson finally allowed himself the private, pleased smile he had been holding back.
And when it does… I’ll be right there to pick up the pieces…
*************************
House made his decisions the best he could, reassuring himself with the knowledge that whatever Wilson might have advised him to do, he would most likely have ignored it anyway. This was what he had wanted for the past few weeks – for Wilson to give him the space to function on his own.
So why did he feel so uneasy, so unsure of his own choices?
As he descended the steps from the stage following the disastrous semblance of a speech he had given, he didn’t dare meet the eyes of the little group assembled at the table front and center, where his gaze had sought them out a time or two while he was on the platform.
He could imagine their expressions well enough without looking.
Cameron and Foreman probably looked as if they’d just lost their jobs – because one of them actually had. He could clearly picture the fury blazing in Cuddy’s blue eyes, could imagine her waiting at the edge of the stage, ready to strike the moment he came within reach. Chase most likely was nothing more than amused by the drama House had brought to an otherwise boring affair.
After all, the outcome of this evening had nothing to do with him. His job was safe.
It was Wilson’s face that House could not bring himself to think about.
He stood at the edge of the stage, behind the curtain that concealed him from the rest of the room, momentarily undecided. He didn’t want to walk out into that room, to face the accusations of Cuddy and his team, the staring eyes of the rest of the audience – or the knowing, smug non-surprise on Wilson’s face. He glanced around the backstage area until he saw a door marked Exit, and swiftly made his way toward it, determined not to face anyone else at all that night.
Once he had reached his car, he headed home immediately, planning to be asleep – or at least appear to be asleep – long before Wilson arrived to berate him for making the worst possible choice he could have made, and sacrificing the careers of his team, and most likely his own as well, for the sake of absolutely nothing but his own pride.
Or worse, just ignore me like he’s been doing all day… just pretend that it’s fine that I just ruined everything, while acting all distant and calm and barely even speaking to me… Yeah… you really handled your decision-making brilliantly, didn’t you? Idiot… freakin’ moron… way to prove how capable and intelligent you really are…
*************************
Wilson arrived home about an hour after House.
He found House seated on the sofa in the darkened living room, his blank, expressionless stare illuminated by the faint glow of the muted television. House did not look up as he entered, did not move or make a sound to acknowledge his presence – unwilling to face the judgment, the criticism, he was certain Wilson would soon be casting in his direction.
Without a word, Wilson slipped up behind him, placing his warm, strong hands firmly on House’s shoulders. House tensed instinctively at his touch, not certain what to expect. He hadn’t expected violence exactly, as Wilson had never gone so far as to strike out at him in anger, but he had certainly not expected gentleness and affection, not after the fiasco he had created that night.
Strangely, however – that was exactly what he received.
“Shhh,” Wilson whispered soothingly as his hands began to gently knead the tension from House’s taut shoulders. “Relax. It’s done now… no reason to worry about what’s already done…”
House let out a heavy, defeated sigh, raising one hand to cover his face as his shoulders slumped slightly, relaxing somewhat under Wilson’s tender, expert ministrations. “I blew it,” he muttered, dejected. “I screwed us all over.”
“I’m sorry.”
Wilson murmured behind him, not acknowledging House’s self-incriminations, and it took House a moment to be certain he had heard correctly. He turned his head, tilted sideways in curiosity, but did not turn around fully to face his lover, unwilling to force him to stop the gradually intensifying massage he was administering. House found that he didn’t even have the energy to question Wilson’s words, so he simply waited for the younger man to go on.
“I let you down,” Wilson explained after a moment, his voice soft and even as he slid his hands slowly, firmly, down House’s forearms, then back up to his shoulders, rubbing slow circles down to his upper back. “I should have been there for you… and I wasn’t.”
“It was my fault I did the wrong thing,” House muttered, shaking his head slowly, his eyes lowered to the floor in shame. “I’m the one who cost Cameron or Foreman their jobs – maybe both of them. And almost definitely mine. That’s on me, not you.”
Wilson was quiet for a moment before persisting calmly. “I was just trying to give you the space… the chance to make your own decisions on this. You came to me… and I knew you wanted advice… but I didn’t give it to you… and I should have. If I had… well… then maybe none of this would have happened.”
House let out a weak snort of derision. “Because I always listen so well to your advice when you do give it.”
House could hear the indulgent smile in Wilson’s voice as he conceded, “Sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you do.” He was quiet, his tone becoming more serious as he pointed out, “This time… I didn’t even give you the chance.”
Removing his hands from House’s shoulders, Wilson moved slowly around the sofa, sitting down close at House’s side and wrapping a strong, reassuring arm around him, his free hand resting on House’s thigh and drawing him in closer. Wilson’s mouth was inches from House’s face, his dark eyes open and searching as he met House’s gaze and spoke in a hushed, tender tone.
“I should have been there for you, House. I shouldn’t have let my pride keep my mouth shut. I should have told you what I thought. I shouldn’t have left you to go this alone. I’m so… so sorry…”
House shook his head, dismissing Wilson’s apology as unnecessary, his lowered eyes continually gravitating toward Wilson’s parted lips. “I… wouldn’t have listened. I… should have listened…”
House’s downcast gaze missed the brief flash of triumph in Wilson’s eyes at his reluctant confession. Content that he had met his objective, Wilson slid his arms tighter around House, pulling him close, one hand cupping the back of his head to draw him into a firm, possessive kiss. House resisted slightly at first, as if not sure why Wilson even felt like kissing him at the moment – but then yielded, allowing Wilson to lavish his reassurance and affection on him.
“I promise,” Wilson murmured, drawing back after a moment to meet House’s uncertain, vulnerable eyes. “I will never let you down like that again. I’ll always be there for you when you need me. I promise."
TBC...
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no subject
Date: 2009-02-14 05:58 pm (UTC)Yeah Wilson is really a manipulative bastard.
Great chapter!
Thanks a lot for sharing. Sometimes I hate your Wilson.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 03:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-14 06:02 pm (UTC)Geeze, you do this well.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 03:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-14 06:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 03:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-14 06:44 pm (UTC)Your Wilson is very interesting. Thanx for the update.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 03:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-14 08:09 pm (UTC)I really enjoyed this chapter. How Wilson played House's defiance of him to eventually tighten his claws in him was a masterpiece. Where do you get ideas like this? Kinda creepy. ^__^
Also, I liked that you pointed out how House is now confused and unsure without Wilson. It's official - House won't leave Wilson. Not alone, at least.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 03:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-15 12:30 am (UTC)I so can't wait for this to descend into darker and darker territory.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 03:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-15 06:09 am (UTC)I haven't seen any of these episodes in a long time, if at all, so I am watching them on DVD. I just watched 17 tonight. Every time I watch one I can't help but think about how you rewrote it. It is cool to see the things that you have taken from the show and put in your story.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 03:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-15 02:17 pm (UTC)I can't wait to see how dark this gets! :D
no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 03:47 am (UTC)thanx so much for your kind words, hon :) glad you enjoyed this chapter, despite wilson's developing evilness :P the next one is up now, hope you like it as well :)
*hugs*
DoS
SQUEEE!
Date: 2009-02-16 08:15 pm (UTC)Re: SQUEEE!
Date: 2009-02-19 03:34 am (UTC)more like... evil :P hehehe
but glad you're liking the story, love :) *Hugs* the next chapter is up now, hope you like it :)
no subject
Date: 2009-02-18 05:09 am (UTC)I also really enjoy the subtle sexuality you have incorporated into many of Wilson's 'pep talks' when he is manipulating House. Stimulating simple physical comfort during distress can cause great influence over the affected individual. Wilson is so sly it's scary. Bravo. =D
no subject
Date: 2009-02-18 05:11 am (UTC)I'm really enjoying this twisted relationship.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 03:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 03:33 am (UTC)yeah, wilson is playing him very, very well, unfortunately... thanx so much, hon :) *Hugs* glad you liked this chapter, i so enjoy reading your comments :) the next chapter is up now, hope you like it :)
no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 12:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-21 09:24 pm (UTC)